|Compromising Positions | Into the Black | Contact|
JealousyNotes: A shout out to Juli who inspired this one with a "what if" question.
I hear Jayne's footsteps behind me, but I pretend I don't, and continue working on the inventory that Mal asked for. As he nears, my heart begins to race - even after all this time, I still react so strongly to Jayne's presence that I sometimes wonder if there's something wrong with me. His strong arms encircle my middle and he pulls me back against his strong body. I relax into his warm embrace and align my arms with his. Jayne rests his chin on my shoulder, rubbing his beard against my cheek.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey," I say back.
"Missed ya," he says then kisses my cheekbone.
I pull my face away a bit so that he can see the grin on my face. "Already? We've only been up for two hours."
Jayne shrugs a bit and tightens his grip. "You busy?" He asks, planting light kisses on my neck.
"Unfortunately, yes. I have to finish this inventory for the Captain so he can look at it and then tell me we can't afford most of the supplies I need." I try to keep the annoyance out of my voice. Given their propensity for getting into trouble, it's difficult keeping this crew in one piece without a full stock of supplies.
"Want some company? I got nuthin' ta do right now."
"Sure." I wait a few minutes while Jayne keeps kissing my neck and ear. "Uh, Jayne."
"Yeah?" His voice is soft and I know if I let this continue for too much longer his hands are going to start wandering and the inventory will not get done. I'm already half-hard just from the kisses and I can feel him poking into my back.
"I can't finish with you attached to me like this."
"Right." He gives my neck a lick, lets go of me, and hops up on the examining table, straddling it. He pulls out his knife, looks me straight in the eyes and licks it - every damn time, no matter how often I've seen it before, it's like an electric bolt straight to my dick. So much for only being half-hard. I can feel the flush staining my cheeks, but I give him my wickedest look and say, "You're going to pay for that later."
"Hope so," he says as he begins sharpening the knife on the whetstone he keeps in a pouch on his belt.
We're celebrating crime well done in a bar. For once, things went smooth. Not only that, we made enough profit that Mal let me get all of the medical supplies that I needed. I sit back, leaning a bit into the arm Jayne has draped over the back of my chair and just listen to the conversations going on around me. Inara's explaining to Kaylee the differences between one type of silk and another, Mal and Zoe are discussing our next job, and Jayne and Wash are having one of their mock arguments that may or may not end up with Wash getting something thrown at him. I feel a little pang of guilt that I didn't stay behind on Serenity with River, but Book chased me out with assurances that he could handle any situation.
Jayne finishes his beer and starts to get up. "Hold that thought, little man," he says to Wash. "Be right back."
I take the mug from his hand. "Let me." He grins his thanks and sits back down.
I make my way over to the counter and stop dead in my tracks. It can't be him, there's no way HE'd be way out here this far away from the Core. There's just...
"Simon? Simon Tam? Oh my God, it is you!" And suddenly, I'm enveloped in a tight hug by a man I was sure I was never going to see again - not after I had broken his heart, and certainly not out here on the Rim.
"Hey Michael. Long time no see," I say lamely, tentatively returning the embrace. He lets me go, reluctantly. God, he's still so gorgeous - dark blue eyes, blue-black hair, and those deep heart-melting dimples that show up when he smiles. Like he's doing now. I can feel myself smiling back, and then I remember that this man knows my parents.
Arms still loose around my waist, Michael says, "Simon, what the hell are you doing out here on the Rim?"
"I could ask you the same thing," I say, trying to turn the conversation away from me.
He shrugs and says, "I racked up a few gambling debts. Providing medical service on this hell-hole is my community service."
"Those must have been some huge debts if your father couldn't buy you out of your punishment."
"They were, you don't want to know," Michael says shaking his head. "Speaking of parents, yours are terribly worried about you. Can you imagine my surprise when I get a call out of the blue asking if I knew where you were? What the hell have you been up to? There are some strange rumours going around that you may have done something illegal."
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. This is not good. "Michael," I say, running my hand across his chest and look up at him through my lashes - hoping that this still works on him, praying that he's still in love with me enough to do as I ask, "I need you to do something for me."
He swallows heavily and his arms tighten around me, "What?"
"I need you to forget that you saw me. I need you to not tell my parents. Do you think you can do that for me?" I say and move closer to him so that he can feel my breath on his face.
"Why?" he asks, obviously confused at my request.
"No questions, Michael. Will you do this?"
He reaches out his hand, touches my cheek, and searches my eyes. "I'm sure I'll regret it, but yes, I will do this for you."
I smile my most winsome smile, and turn to kiss the hand on my face.
"Simon? What the ruttin' hell is takin' so long with..."
My stomach drops at the sound of Jayne's voice. Shit, so close and now it's all ruined.
"Get your ruttin' hands off him. He's mine." Jayne growls and smacks Michael's hand away. He grabs my arm and pulls me to his side.
"What's goin' on here?" Jayne asks looking back and forth between us.
Before I get a chance to say anything, Michael looks Jayne up and down and says, "Shit Simon, I knew you liked it rough, but this...this...animal? No wonder you haven't spoken to your parents, they would die if they knew you were sullying yourself with the likes of this thing."
Jayne hits him in the face, hard, and Michael goes down in a spray of blood. Jayne is lunging for him again when I haul on his arm. "Jayne, we have to get out of here now. He KNOWS my parents, he has Alliance contacts."
The commotion has drawn the rest of the crew to us - Mal never could resist a bar fight, although he's usually the one front and centre. I drag Jayne towards Mal. "We have to leave, now. He knows me and he's bound to call the authorities when he wakes up."
We're back on Serenity, safe and sound and running - again. I hate the look in Mal's eyes, a mixture of annoyance, disappointment, and disgust. Another planet we can't go back to because of the price on my head.
"I'm sorry, Mal," I say looking down, not able to look him in the face any longer. "I had it under control. Michael wouldn't have been a problem if Jayne hadn't lost his temper."
"Never know for sure, will we? Mighta been lying, ever think of that? You put us in danger again, Simon. Maybe you shouldn't leave the ship for a while." Mal says bitterly. He shakes his head and leaves the cargo bay.
As I turn to leave, Jayne grabs me by the arm, digging his fingers in hard. "Who was that guy?" He growls.
I try not to wince at the pain in my arm, knowing that struggling would be a waste of energy. "I told you, Jayne, an old friend."
"Looks like more that just friends to me." He says frowning, shaking me a little, his fingers digging deeper. "Who was he to ya?" I look at the hand on my arm and then look into his eyes. Jayne gets the message and lets go. I resist the urge to rub the spot - it's throbbing and I know I'm going to have a bruise.
"An old lover, from med-school. OK? Is that what you wanted to hear?" I say with exasperation.
"Why was he all over ya?"
"Because, Jayne, I thought if I let him man-handle me a bit, it would make him more compliant." Seeing the lack of comprehension in Jayne's eyes, I elaborate, "More willing to do as I asked."
"It looked like you was enjoyin' it," he says, voice roughening with anger.
I can't help it - I lose it. I've had possessive lovers in the past - Michael was one of them - and I just refuse to put up with this bullshit. "That's what this is all about!? Jealousy? We're on the run again because you were jealous? Oh for...don't be such a fucking cliché Jayne. Did you really think you were the first? Do you really think you're going to be the last?" As soon as the last sentence comes out of my mouth I immediately regret it. I watch as Jayne's face freezes and his eyes go a bit dead. He turns and leaves before I have a chance to say I'm sorry.
I haven't seen Jayne in two days. I don't know how he's doing it, the ship isn't that big, but somehow he's managed to avoid me. I'm amazed at how much I miss him, at how difficult it is to sleep without his arms wrapped around me. I need to find him, I need to tell him I didn't mean those hurtful words, I need to tell him that I love him. So, I decide to wait in his quarters. He can't avoid me forever, and besides, Vera's in here - he'll come for her eventually.
Familiar steps on the ladder wake me from a light doze and I sit up. I can hear him starting to go back up when he realizes that his room's not empty.
"Jayne, please. Don't go. I need to talk to you. Please." Something in my voice must reach him, because he stops and comes down the ladder to stand before me. He won't look at me and it hurts. I stand and walk towards him, invading his space.
"Look at me, Jayne, please" I beg. Pride? Who needs pride. He finally looks down and I can see how much pain is in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Jayne." I say, reaching out to touch his face. "I was just so angry and I said some things that I didn't mean. I just hate being treated like a possession - I'm not one of your guns, Jayne, you don't own me." I move closer and put my other hand on his chest. "I love you and I want to be with you. Isn't that enough? Can't that be enough?" I'm getting desperate. Jayne still hasn't moved or said a word. "Jayne? Say something. I can't stand this."
"Ya love me?" He says with wonderment.
"Yes," I say firmly.
"An' ya wanta be with me?" He says, searching my eyes.
"Forever?" He says a little breathlessly as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.
"Yes," I say, my voice rough with emotion.
"Me too." And then he kisses me - long and hard and deep - and no more words are required.