Compromising Positions | Into the Black | Contact

Starting Over

Notes: Written in response to tenthmuse's request for angst - I don't do it well, so there's not much. Truth - the minor angst at the beginning is just an excuse for the porn later on.




Kaylee can't believe her eyes, or her ears. Simon is in the infirmary tearing up the place, throwing everything within reach across the room, swearing a blue streak in both Chinese and English. Some of the things he says even make her blush. So much for her theory that he is too much of a gentleman to even swear properly.

"Simon?" Kaylee asks tentatively as she walks into the infirmary. "What's wrong?"

Simon spins around and exclaims, "How COULD he? How could he sit there and fondle that woman right in front of me? That FUCKING bastard!" Simon's face is flushed and he's shaking with rage. His fingers find a scalpel and he throws it across the room. It hits the wall with a loud clank and falls to the floor.

"Ahhh," Kaylee says knowingly. "Jayne. Should have figured he'd be the only one who could get you this riled up." Kaylee approaches Simon carefully, avoiding his line of fire as he continues to throw things around the room. She's very amused. Simon is the most tightly wound person she's ever met and it's fun watching him lose it so completely - not to mention hot as hell. His hair's all messed up, his shirt is open at collar and cuffs, and his pale skin is flushed with anger. She knows she has absolutely no chance with him, but it doesn't stop her from admiring the view.

Simon stops throwing medical supplies when Kaylee touches his arm. He looks at her, eyes full of hurt and anger. He says in a quiet voice, "How could he, Kaylee?"

Kaylee puts an arm around his shoulders and says, "Aren't you the one that broke up with him? I don't see how what he does now should make any difference to you. You might want to think on that a bit. Don't see how you've got a right to be jealous if he don't mean nothin' to you."

"I'm NOT jealous," Simon says petulantly, looking down, and picking at a crease in his pants.

"Oh really?" Kaylee says and gestures to the mess on the floor. "You've got a wrecked infirmary that tells me different, Simon."

That gets her a small quirk of his lips. Simon sighs heavily and rests his head on her shoulder. "Why does it have to be so ruttin' hard, Kaylee? To quote our illustrious Captain, why can't things ever go smooth?"

"Dunno, Simon. But sometimes things can be made smooth with a little effort," she says.

They stand together, surveying the disaster that is the infirmary for a few minutes, then Kaylee asks, "Want some help cleaning up?"

"Yes," Simon replies. "Thanks, Kaylee." He pauses a bit and gives her a quick hug. "For everything."

Kaylee shrugs and smiles widely, "T'weren't nothin'. Sometimes even the smart ones have to be given a shove in the right direction once in a while."

Simon narrows his eyes and then sticks his tongue out at her. Laughing, they start cleaning up the infirmary.




Jayne enters his room and finds Simon sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What are ya doin' here?" he asks harshly. It's been three months since the break-up, three months since Simon was last in this room, filling it with his scent. Jayne's guts twist at the memory.

Simon stands so that Jayne isn't looming over him quite so much. "I wanted to talk."

"Get out," Jayne growls.

"Jayne, please. I wanted to apolo..." Simon pleads, reaching out for Jayne.

Jayne swats his hand away, grabs a handful of Simon's shirt and vest and pulls him close. Jayne's breath is hot on Simon's face and his blue-grey eyes are dark with fury. He's never seen Jayne so angry before. Scowling, Jayne says, "What? Say yer sorry, shake that tight little ass in my face, and what? Expect me to forgive ya? Act like ya never hurt me?"

"It's not like that, Jayne. Please, let me talk."

Jayne shoves Simon hard, pushing him halfway across the room. "Get out, NOW. Before I throw ya through a bulkhead."

Jayne's eyes are cold and dead and Simon realizes that it may be much, much safer for him to leave than to press his luck any further.

As soon as he hears the latch on his door snap closed, Jayne slumps onto the bed, the mask of anger leaving his face. He's trembling just from the brief amount of contact. Sending Simon away was the hardest thing he's ever done - but he can't risk it, he can't risk having his heart broken so cavalierly again, when Simon decides he's tired of slumming it once again.




Simon stops going to meal times from that point onward. It hurts too much to see Jayne on the other side of the table. He gets Kaylee to take River to meals - it's good for his sister to be around people. He avoids anywhere that he thinks Jayne might be. Of course, they bump into each other on occasion, and it cuts Simon like a knife every time Jayne looks through him like he's not even there.

He's started eating at odd times, just going down to the galley when he figures no one will be there. Only this time, there is. Jayne is standing at the counter, getting a cup of tea when Simon walks into the room. Seeing Jayne, Simon freezes for a moment and then turns on his heel and leaves the room.

The haunted, sad look in Simon's eyes cuts Jayne to the bone and he follows him into the corridor. Jayne just plants himself in front of Simon and won't let him get past.

"Ya gotta stop it," Jayne says harshly, grabbing Simon by the arms and giving him a little shake. "Ya gotta stop lookin' at me like it's my fault." Jayne's fingers dig deeper into the flesh of Simon's arms. "Yer the one that broke up with me. Yer the one that walked away and acted like it meant nuthin'. Yer the one that ripped out my heart and stomped on it." With each sentence, Jayne shakes Simon a little harder and Simon just stands there limply, his head rocking back on his neck with every shake. "Yer the one that decided I wasn't good enough for ya, that I..."

"I love you," Simon says softly, interrupting Jayne's rant.

Jayne stops mid-word and mid-shake and stares hard at Simon. He reaches out a hand and traces Simon's lips with a finger, not believing what he's just heard. "Wha...?" Jayne asks, his brow furrowed.

Simon cups the hand touching his face and presses it against his cheek. "I love you. I'm sorry, I was wrong. I've been miserable without you. I miss you so m..."

The rest of Simon's words are lost when the Jayne pulls Simon into a crushing kiss. Simon slides his arms around Jayne's back, clutching tightly, and melts into Jayne's body. Jayne's grabs Simon by the ass and hoists him up against the bulkhead. Simon wraps his legs around Jayne's hips and his arms around his neck. They nip and suck and lick at each other's mouths, moaning and panting, getting more and more frantic by the minute. Simon breaks free, gasping and then slides his tongue across Jayne's bearded jaw to his ear.

"I want you to take me back to your bunk and fuck me, Jayne," Simon whispers, blushing furiously at the crude word. Jayne's hands tighten convulsively around him. Simon knows how much Jayne likes it when he uses vulgar language, so he continues. He leans closer so that his lips brush the curve of Jayne's ear, and says in a husky voice "I want to feel your big, hard cock in my tight little hole. I want you to fuck me until I scream." Simon rocks his hips forward with every word, grinding their erections together.

Jayne moans long and low in his throat - a feral sound. "Oh, God, Simon. Are ya trying ta kill me?" Jayne growls and then grabs Simon's ass and grinds himself hard into Simon. Simon gasps in his ear, "Your bunk, now."

Jayne pulls Simon into a frenzied kiss and Simon lowers his legs. They make their way to Jayne's bunk blindly, shedding clothing as they go. By the time they are inside Jayne's bunk, all they have left are pants and footwear, which they remove quickly.

Jayne moves behind Simon and wraps one hand around his body, placing it on his chest, fingers lightly brushing a nipple. He teases it to a sharp point and then pinches it with just enough force to make Simon jerk and moan. Jayne licks his way to the sensitive spot behind Simon's ear and sucks gently. Simon moans louder and leans back against Jayne. He arches his back, wraps his arms backward around Jayne and rocks his ass against Jayne's cock. Jayne's other hand drifts slowly down Simon's abdomen and he begins to very lightly trace the line of soft hair running down from Simon's navel. With each brush of Jayne's fingers, Simon twitches as electric bolts of pleasure course through him.

When Jayne has Simon gasping, he brings his hand up to Simon's mouth and traces his lips with his fingers. Simon sucks the fingers into his mouth and swirls his tongue around them, wetting them. Jayne slides the wet digits down Simon's spine and between the cleft of his ass. Finding the puckered opening, Jayne teases it with two fingertips. Simon gasps softly and spreads his legs. Jayne's lips are hot and wet on Simon's neck and shoulder as he pushes two fingers into Simon. Simultaneously, he grips Simon's cock and begins to jerk him off hard and fast. Simon whimpers slightly as Jayne opens and stretches him quickly, forcing a third finger in a little too soon. Jayne curves his fingers upward and begins to prod Simon's prostate rhythmically. The strong fingers working his cock and his ass quickly bring Simon over the edge and he comes with a harsh cry.

Jayne catches as much semen as he can in his hand. He spins Simon around and pushes him forcefully toward the bed and then coats his throbbing cock with the come in his hand. Simon sprawls limply on the bed, eyes a little wild, and his chest heaving as he watches Jayne approach him.

Jayne kneels between his open legs and wraps them around his hips. "I'm gonna fuck you til you beg for mercy," Jayne says in a low voice, eyes dark with lust. He takes Simon by the hips and pushes himself into Simon's body in one fierce motion that makes them both gasp sharply. Jayne grabs Simon's wrists in one large hand and pins them above his head against the bunk and starts to thrust hard and deep into the body beneath him.

Simon rocks his hips up to meet every punishing jab and arches his neck back, exposing it to Jayne's lips, tongue, and teeth. They're wild and abandoned, moaning and gasping as their sweat covered bodies slap together faster and faster, harder and harder. For the first time in his life, Simon lets go, he gives up all of his control, and gives everything up to Jayne. He writhes and moans and calls out, encouraging Jayne with whispered words: more, don't stop, fuck me, harder, faster, deeper. Simon tightens his legs around Jayne, pulling him in as deep as he can and arches upward, slamming their hips together as hard as he can. Simon knows he's going to feel this fuck for days - hell, he wants to feel it forever.

Jayne jerks suddenly and cries out Simon's name. As the orgasm overtakes him, he loosens his grip on Simon's wrists. Simon pulls his arms free and wraps them tightly around Jayne, holding him as his body shudders. Once his tremors stop, Jayne pulls gently out of Simon and collapses on top of him.

Jayne lifts himself up onto his elbows and looks deep into Simon's eyes. Jayne brushes gently at the sweat soaked hair plastered to Simon's forehead and leans down and kisses him softly, tracing the line of his lips with his tongue.

"All right," Jayne says, "Who are ya, and what have ya done with the real Simon? The one that hardly made a sound durin' sex? That NEVER fucked like that."

Simon quirks and eyebrow at Jayne and says, "That guy? You sure you want to bring him up? He's the guy that thought it was a good idea to break up with you."

"Good point," Jayne says with a smile. "Fuck him. Good riddance to Mr. Uptight. I like this Simon much, much better."

"Me too," Simon says and pulls Jayne's head down for soft, wet kiss.

They shift around until they're spooned together - Simon's back tucked tightly against Jayne's chest, his head resting on an arm. Jayne rubs his cheek against Simon's hair and says in a sleepy voice, "I think I forgot sumthin'."

"What?" Simon mumbles, half asleep.

"I love you, Simon. Ya try an' leave me again an' I'll gut ya."

Simon chuckles and pulls Jayne's arm tighter around him. "Sounds painful, good thing I'm not planning on going anywhere."