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Swayed by Emotion

It always drives me nuts trying to read slurred or oddly accented dialogue, so I'm not going to do it much here. Just take my word for it - Simon's hammered. Inspired by all of the other stories in which one of these fellows got drunk and uninhibited.

I make my way back to the inn where I left my crew, still feeling a bit jumpy over the fact that my contact insisted on meeting me alone. But for once, things actually went smooth, so I'm in a pretty good mood when I enter the building.

I spot Simon right away, mostly due to the fact that he's calling for another drink in a loud, drunken voice. I've never seen him quite so disheveled. His vest is unbuttoned and his shirt is open at the neck, exposing the hollow of his throat and a few inches of chest. I look around for the others, but they are nowhere to be found. I make my way over to the bar and stand beside Simon.

"Cap'n," he slurs. "Have a drink with me." He waves a long, white hand at the bartender. "Barkeep, my good man, get this man a drink."

I look at the bartender and shake my head slightly and turn to look at the Doc, his face is flushed and his eyes are a bit bleary. "Simon, where is everyone else?" I know Zoe and Wash are on Serenity taking advantage of the fact that the rest of us are off-ship, but when I left the inn, the others were all here.

"River threw a fit, so Book an' 'Nara took her back to the ship. Jayne 'n Kaylee are upstairs." He winks lasciviously me.

I'm surprised by the fact that Simon let someone else take care of his sister and then it hits me: 'Jayne and Kaylee are upstairs.'

"What do you mean they're upstairs?" I ask, sternly, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Don' worry, Mal. Kaylee's idea. Shoulda seen the look on Jayne's face when she grabbed him by the belt an' dragged him up the stairs." Simon giggles at the image.

"So you decided it was cause to get drunk?" I ask. Thinking to myself, how could I possibly have believed things could ever go smooth for me. Now I'm going to have to have a little chat with Jayne and Kaylee.

"Nope. Anniversary," Simon says blearily.


"Yup. Year ago today, got River outta the Academy an' she's just as fucked up now as she was then." He says raising his glass in mock toast and emptying it in one long gulp.

I'm shocked at the harsh words. Simon rarely ever curses and I've certainly never heard him use "fuck" before. He's motioning for another drink, swaying slightly on his stool.

"I think you've had enough. Let's get you back to the ship." I say and put my fingers lightly on his back. I love the feel of silk - the way it transfers body heat, but somehow remains cool to the touch - I have to resist the strong urge to stroke Simon's back.

"Whatever you say, Cap'n," Simon says and slides off the stool, stumbling into me. I catch him before he falls, far too aware of the heat coming from his body.

"My hero," he purrs, and pats my face clumsily.

I realize he's not going to be able to walk on his own, so I slip an arm around him to guide his steps. Simon wraps his arm around me and leans his body against mine as we work our way out of the inn. When we get outside, he stops and looks up at the night sky. Xiaolan has two moons and the view is spectacular.

"Pretty," he says, and rests his head on my shoulder. He's still not moving.

"Yes, Simon, very pretty. Now c'mon. Serenity's waiting." I say, desperately trying to ignore how good he smells and how much I want to bury my face in his hair. I finally get us moving again.

We stumble up the ramp into the ship and down the hall to his room. I sit Simon down on the bunk and kneel down to remove his shoes. He starts absently playing with my hair, occasionally running a delicate finger along the curve of my ear. By the time I have his shoes off my hands are trembling.

"Good night, Doc. You settle yourself in now and sleep it off." I say standing.

As I turn to leave he grabs my arm in a surprisingly strong grip.

"Stay," he says softly. "'M lonely." Simon pulls me hard towards him, tangling his legs with mine. I'm over balanced and I fall forward. I catch myself on the bulkhead, but now Simon has his hands wrapped around my hips and he's pulling me down towards the bed. I tell myself this is all sorts of wrong, and I can feel one of Book's "special hell's" looming over my shoulder, but I let Simon pull me down onto his bunk.

He snuggles in against me, wrapping a leg around mine and resting his head on my chest. I put my hand over the long delicate fingers that are fiddling with one of my suspenders, stopping them from brushing against my nipple. My heart is pounding in my chest and I realize what a truly terrible mistake this was. I want this man so badly that I've let it get the better of my good judgement. I start to get up to leave, knowing it's the right thing to do.

Simon tightens his hold on me. "Stay. At least until I fall asleep," he mumbles into my chest. "Please." The loneliness in his voice breaks my heart - I can't leave now. I wrap my arms loosely around him and wait for him to drift off.

I wake up the next morning with Simon wrapped around me. Somehow, in the night, he had worked his hand inside my shirt and it is now resting against my bare chest. His face is pressed into my neck, and his lips are barely brushing my pulse. He stirs in his sleep, sliding his hand across my chest, brushing my nipple with his long fingers. I suppress a gasp and then a moan when his soft mouth kisses my neck, gently. I really need to get out of here before I do something stupid. I start to get up.

"Mnhmm," Simon murmurs in protest, burying himself into my side.

"Simon," I say quietly, "I gotta go. Let me up."

He opens a bleary eye and looks at me. "What are you doing here?" He asks, then winces at the pain in his own head. "Ooooh," he moans. "How much did I drink last night?"

"Too much, apparently," I say, feeling hurt that he doesn't remember that he asked me to stay. I finally extricate myself from his embrace and stand up and turn towards the door.

"Wait. Mal, wait," Simon says. I turn and see he's propped himself up onto his elbows. His hair is all in spikes and swirls, and his clothes are all rumpled. It takes my breath away - he's ever looked sexier.

"Thank you," he says.

"For what?"

"For getting me back to the ship." His eyes slip away from mine for a moment and then he looks back up at me, a flush rising on his pale skin. "For not taking what was offered. Most men would."

"I'm not most men," I say.

"I know," he smiles sweetly at me and holds out a hand. "Come here."

I take the hand and he pulls me down towards him, and I sit on the edge of the bunk. Simon raises himself up so that our chests are pressed together and he cups the back of my head with one hand. I lay one hand on his hip and place the other on his face - his skin is so soft. He leans in and, gently, ever so gently brushes his lips against mine. The sound I make can only be classified as a whimper. Simon's grip on my head tightens and he deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth, briefly. He breaks the kiss and smiles at me.

"You need to come back later, Mal, when my head isn't about to explode," Simon says lightly. His tone changes and he looks down, and looks up at me through his lashes, "Will you?"

Under the influence of the powerful new emotion flooding through me, I say yes. I run my hands over his hair, smoothing out the spikes and kiss him gently on the forehead. I tuck him into bed and with one last look back I leave his room.

I walk down the corridor, whistling, happier than I've been in a long time.